Confessions of a depressed guy, day number whatever:
So, I'm at a party at the moment, its 1:46 in the morning. This is my 4th time out in 3 weeks. I'm as sober as they come at the moment, and I've been doing some serious thinking, as I sit here watching people dance, the strobe lights flickering all over the place.
Parties have never really been my thing. I'm far too self conscious to really enjoy myself. Nevertheless, in my current state, I thought it best to get myself out there, try to meet new people, and have a good time. Needless to say, it hasn't done much for me.
It doesn't suit me. The dancing, grinding, drinking. I feel out of place. I'm too concerned with my self image. Too concerned with blending in, but feeling as if I'm always falling short of people's expectations.
The reality is--it's impossible to meet everyone's standards. You will always fall short of expectations. That's simply life in a nutshell.
In spite of that fact, you need to be comfortable with yourself. You need to love who you are, and be the best you that you can be. Don't change who you are to make please others. Life cannot possibly be enjoyed to the fullest unless you love who you are. And I should know, in my current state, that there will be people down the road who appreciate you, who want to spend time with you, be your friend.
Hold your head up, forget what others think, love yourself, and enjoy life in every moment.